Giving and Taking
by lrigD
Summary: Carmen thinks about herself and how she stands in life. Kind of random, but I had to get it out of my system.


_**I saw both movies for the umpteenth time today and yesterday and I just couldn't resist. This isn't a story as much as a bunch of thoughts written down**_.  
_**Technically this is based on the movie, not the books, but I read them too, it's just been a long time since I did. And there's only a book section for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants here...**_

_**Enough of the babbling, enjoy!, and please review  
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I'm satisfied with who I am.

It seems that people never really believe me when I tell them that. They look at me, they see my figure and they assume that because I am a teenager, I am supposed to be unhappy and anorexic and prone to cutting.

I'm not.

Of course there are things I'd like to change about myself. Doesn't everybody have that? I wish I would think before I would talk more. I really feel like I need to be less dramatic at times.

But my figure... nope, I'm not giving that up. I'm proud of my curves. They make me who I am, they're part of me. I think they add to the whole Puerto Rican theme I've got. And I like it. It's my identity – I'll never change it.

Not because my dad's fiancé doesn't approve, and not because others don't approve. Because I don't really need approval – not from them, anyway.

I've got friends who love me, all of me, and family who will always support me. They're all I need now – they know how I feel about the subject and they accept it, which is more than I can say of most outsiders.

My friends – I am so grateful of them. Of our mothers, who were all pregnant at the same time and who created this bond between us even before we were born.

We've had our fights. I remember back in fourth grade I didn't talk to Tibby for a month because she had ripped apart one of the first poems I had ever written. Tibby was angry at Lena for a long time when Lena wouldn't admit she had a crush on Damien Nicholson, too.

The point is, we always came back to each other. We needed each other and despite any disagreements we'd have, we always knew we would be there for each other in an instant. How many girls can honestly say they have that kind of friends?

Bridget has made us laugh so often. She was always the light note, and I've often wondered how she could be so happy with everything that was happening in her family – I was jealous of her, too. It often seemed like she had no care in the world, even though I knew differently. But she could act – not a good, but a necessary ability in this world.

Lena came up with the ideas, she's the brain behind many of our little schemes: she's quiet, but there are a thousand things going on in that artistic mind of hers. She's shy and naive and easily embarrassed, but we've heard the stories about Kostas. She's not as shy as she seems!

Tibby – secretly I have always been jealous of her. She's so certain of herself, she sees the world as it is and is not afraid to comment on it. Tibby is the cynical one, the pessimist; but she's also the one who would talk us out of trouble when we rightfully deserved punishment, and she's always, _always_ there for us.

And me. Who am I in this little circle? I suppose I am the romantic one. Dramatic, too, and maybe artistic, but not the way Lena is. Lena conjures up images on canvas, I do it with words.

But that doesn't matter. What matters is that they have accepted me and helped me through all these years without hesitation. They've taken care of me when my dad left, when my mom got pregnant again, when my dad had found a new family.

And I've been there for Bridget when she broke down. I took care of Tibby when Bailey died – and I helped Lena to go after the one she loved. It's funny how life seems to be made of balances – you give and you take.

But with a friendship like ours, it's not really giving or taking. It just _is_.

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_**I know I'm just jumping from thought to thought here, but I needed to get this out of my system... Also, Carmen deserves more attention because she is AWESOME. That bridal dress scene in movie 1 is one of my favourite scenes ever. **_


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